Where has my Baby Boy Gone?

Little J,

It hasn't even been four months since I first called you that, 

but you are already leaving the "little" phase behind.

I feel like you grew, changed, and developed

so much while we were back home in the states

and it all seemed to happen over night.
It's as if one morning you woke up and decided
"okay, enough of this just laying around baby stuff.
I'm ready for bigger and better things."

One of your new favorite things to do is to be held facing someone
and then to have a conversation with whoever is holding you.
You were already discovering your voice before the trip,
but now you seem more sure of the sounds you make.
Your coos and caws seem to have more of a purpose now
and you already put so much inflection into your grunts and hollers.
I wish I could describe to you how special I think each little sound you make is.
They are so sweet and full of energy.  You have a powerful voice
and whether it be through speech or music,
I think it's going to help you do great things one day.


One of the many "man to man" chats you will have with your Daddy.

Before the trip home you didn't pay any attention to your toys.
I would play with them in front of you and your sissy would set them in your lap,
but you were less than impressed with them.  Well Little Man,
that is no longer the case.  You are such a playful little boy now.
The first toys you noticed and were curious about were the ones hanging from your car seat.
Once you started trying to reach for them it was only a matter of days before you
perfected the art of closing your hand around them at just the right time.
Now you'll grab for just about anything within your reach (including my hair).
You put everything in your mouth and have even started transferring things from hand to hand.
I love to sit and watch you manipulate whatever it is you have in your hand.
I can tell your little brain is hard at work trying to figure out everything you can do with it.
I'm hoping this is a sign that you are going to like to tinker with things like your Daddy does.
It won't be long before you are right at your Daddy's side wanting to help him fix things
or put something together.  I know he can't wait for those days.
There is so much he wants to show you and teach you.
You're lucky to have such wonderful footsteps to follow along with and learn from.
I know it won't be for many years, but one day you will recognize this and appreciate it.
It's already pretty obvious that you're a Daddy's boy and I am so excited to watch
your special relationship with him grow and develop.  Seeing my two boys together
is one of the greatest joys in my life.  I am one proud wife and momma.

You love playing with your toys and shaking them all around.

I don't really know how to describe all the other ways you changed
during those few shorts weeks that we were home.
The best way I can think to put it is that you're not such a baby anymore.
That may not make a lot of sense since you are technically still a baby,
you're only a few months old, but you have definitely left the "newborn" phase behind.
We don't have to be so gentle with you any more.  I no longer have to cradle you when I hold you.
I can hold you on my hip.  You'll play by yourself for longer periods of time.
You give social smiles and even have the cutest little laugh.
Your neck and shoulders are very strong so you have great head control.
This has opened up a whole new world for you in terms of playing.  

I think you're going to be into superheroes because you love yo fly...

...and show off your muscles.

Jude Scott, I absolutely love watching you grow, develop, and learn.

It truly is one of the greatest pleasures in my life.

Although you have no idea what it means to love or to be loved,

the love I have for you is so deep, strong, natural, and genuine.

You are this little person who is completely dependent on me.

You pee on me.  You spit up on me.  You drool on me.

You can't tell me or show me that you love me,

yet I still love you with all my heart and I continue 

to love you more and more with each day that passes.

To me, this kind of love is one of the greatest gifts of parenthood.

Your every smile, chuckle, coo, and milestone reached

are all intangible, but they are the greatest gifts I could ever receive.

I hold them dearly in my heart now and always.

I love you my not so "little" J.

Momma