...I am so incredibly grateful.
He has not only given me what I have always wanted,
the chance to be a stay at home Momma,
but he has also supported and encouraged it.
I was recently given the opportunity to get back in the classroom
and teach for the first semester of this school year,
or until the new baby is born.
At first I was really excited about the idea.
I started thinking about how I would decorate my room,
how I could incorporate the island lifestyle
into the different units I created,
and about how much I would learn about the Japanese culture.
My teaching brain immediately got flipped back to the on position.
This was something I truly thought I wanted to do.
I even went as far as finding a day care for Emma to go to,
but as soon as I hit the send button on my email
to accept the job, my Momma brain kicked into over drive.
I started crying immediately.
I had already thought about having to leave Emma,
but I thought I would be okay with it.
Of course it was going to be extremely difficult,
but I figured if hundreds of moms can do it every day
starting when their babies are just six weeks old
then I could handle it after spending every day
of Emma's first year with her.
Plus, it was only going to be for a few months.
But boy was I wrong.
It felt as if my heart shattered as soon as that email sent.
The thought of possibly missing Emma's first step,
or not getting to have our cuddle time
before she goes down for a nap,
or not getting to laugh at her messy face
after she eats lunch,
or not hearing the sweet sound of her
squeals and giggles throughout the day
brought me to tears.
I'm her Momma.
It's my job, my responsibility, and my privilege
to clean up her messes, change her diapers, and
repeatedly pick up her sippy cup
after she throws it down for the hundredth time.
As much as I love teaching,
I love being a Momma ten times more.
At home with our baby girl,
and soon to be with the new baby,
is where I am meant to be.
Thankfully, my husband couldn't agree more.
He wants me at home just as much as I want to be here.
He always tells me how much he loves watching me
be a Momma to Emma.
So thank you, my dear husband,
for supporting me in that role
and accepting and being okay with the fact
that I don't contribute to the family financially.
He has never once made me feel guilty for that
and I truly believe it makes him happy
knowing that I am at home with Emma
and that he is able to provide for us.
The love, comfort, encouragement, and security
that he provides for us is priceless.
I am honored and blessed to have him as my
husband, best friend, and father of our children.
He is absolutely incredible at each one of those roles.
He is such a joy to watch with all of his babies.
The love he has for them just pours out of him.
He has given me the life I have always wanted,
plus so much more than I ever could have imagined.
I love you Joshua Scott.
I am lucky to be spending the rest of my life
the way my engagement ring describes it,
hand in hand with you, forever.